Family

Sunday was my birthday...  whoo hoo...  Happy Birthday.  This year I was feeling a little sad because I wished I was in O-town with my bestie (like I was last year) but more than that it is the last year I will be in my 'early 30's'.  Silly you say...  but it has really taken a toll on me.  I remember when I turned 30 and thinking it really wasn't so bad but now that I am 34 it sucks!!!  Brandon and I are both getting older, Makenna is getting older...  everyone is getting older...  TIME MUST STOP!!! 

Perhaps the thing that upset me the most:  I have a certain family member that I don't really get along with I guess you could say BUT we are cordial, etc.  I didn't see this person on my birthday (which is totally fine) but they didn't even text me Happy Birthday...  I understand that the world does not revolve around me but I have been in their lives for 13 years and would never let their special day go without notice.  This has seriously upset me and had me really want to re-evaluate the situation with said person.  Is it really worth me getting this upset over?  Should I really care this much since we really don't see eye to eye anyway?  Suggestions on how to handle this situation please.  :)  Thanks in advance.

Mama and her Dancing Diva 2011

Things are a changing.....

Yesterday was Makenna’s last day of kindergarten.  I realized that I started this blog on the day before she started school.  Wow…  what a fast and productive year it has been for our family.  Some things that have happened this year that have changed us:

-           Makenna started her school ‘career’ with one of the most wonderful teachers we could have ever hoped for.  I absolutely cannot praise Mrs. Bernard enough for the guidance she has given Makenna over the last school year.  She has truly taught her so much and taught me that I am indeed a good parent to an amazing little girl…  for this, I am immensely grateful.

-          One of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life died from a horrible illness that I will never understand.  I have realized that he was the closest thing I have ever known to a father and I still miss him more than I thought possible.

-          I opened up to my family about things that happened in my childhood that I had kept a secret for over 20 years.  Many times I wonder if this has helped or hindered me in psychological recovery and healing.

-          My wonderful husband received some very good legal news this year and a huge burden on our family was lifted because of this.

-          I graduated with my Master’s Degree (which I was convinced would never occur) this year and have decided to try my hand at a PhD…  we shall see next year how that it going. 
-          I have begun to question my faith this year and question why I believe what I was told to believe.  This next year, I will begin on a journey of reflection as to what this exactly means for ME to determine what I do believe.

That pretty much sums up our year…  it, for the most part, has been a great year and we are really looking forward to what the future holds for our family.  Brandon and I have some big plans in store for our family so stay tuned for that…..  Love.

Things I Know

I have been keeping a list of 'Things I Know' and have decided to share them:

1.  I have been given this wonderful family whom I have no idea what I would do without.  Brandon, Makenna and my mom are so incredibly precious to me.
2.  I have an awesome SMALL set of girlfriends that I wouldn't trade for the world.  Their love for me inspires me everyday to be a better person.
3.  I have truly accomplished more in my life than I ever thought possible and I have a few select people to thank for that.  I could not have done it without their encouragement and help.
4.  I have tried to be friends with a particular person and she is evidentally so stuick in her own crappy world that she refuses to accept friendship and this pisses me off.  :)  (Everything I said couldn't be all roses)
5.  Makenna and I butt heads so often because our personalities are exactly alike and, for the most part, I love it.  This shows me that she will be open-minded and independent when she grows up.
6.  Someone that I knew read my blog and sent me an email about something that I had written and I felt horribly violated (so if he is reading this again, don't do it again or I will hunt you down...  ok?)
7.  I am going to give this PhD thing my best effort BUT if it doesn't work out I won't feel defeated or like a failure.
8.  I have grown to despise closed minded people even though I used to be one.
9.  My music 'likes' change as often as I change underwear (and that is daily  :))

So long "20 effing 10"

I guess I am finally ready (and feel comfortable enough) to say goodbye to 2010.  This has, without a doubt, been the absolute, hands down worst year of my life so I was so glad to see it go.  I think it has taken me 19 days into 2011 to finally decide it was safe enough to bid it farewell just to make sure all the crappy things were finally over.  The year has FINALLY started off with some things positive (which my family desperately needed).  So...  hopefully 2011 is going to be a great year for the Smith family.  I promise to start blogging more because I have decided that I really miss it.  HELLO 2011...  Give me all the good things you have...  I am ready........  :)

I wish you all peace and love this new year (again, sorry I am a little late).  I am hoping to become a better friend this year to the ones that matter to me the most (love you girls).