How to ask for a friend

I have had a rough couple of weeks!!!  I guess it all began at the beginning of September with the death of Mr. Mark.  I knew that this would be a very difficult time but had no idea the toll it would take on me.  As I said in my previous blog, Mr. Mark was a father figure to me!  He lived 900 miles away so it was rare that I was able to spend time with him but now knowing that he is not there breaks my heart.  I think of how hurt I am then I realize that he actually had children that must be missing him more than I am.  He was an incredible man and I wish everyone would have had the opportunity to know him. 

School is another area where I have recently had some troubles.  I thought I definitely knew what I wanted my thesis to be about but my advisor really does not think it is a topic for a masters level proposal (she thinks it would be a better fit for my dissertation).  So, she gave me some suggestions and I am just really not interested in them.  They are ok but nothing that I am really excited about.  So that kind of sucks!

I think the thing that has me in the worst mood (maybe it is just on top of the other things) is WORK.  As many of you know I work in research at LSU for the Department of Anesthesiology.  My "job" is to recruit research and studies for the physicians in our department who want to participate in research.  The thing is that NOBODY WANTS TO DO RESEARCH!!!!!!  Quite a dilemma you say.  So I have been told directly by the Chairman of the Department to basically just do what I want.  WTF???  So...  I do school work, I stalk random people on Facebook (not in a weird, stalker way but in a I am bored and need to see what other people do kind of way), I talk to friends on gchat, read all 4 Twilight books (definitely an Edward fan), etc.  Most people would say this is an awesome job!!!  Not so much for me...  I have found that I need stimulation, I need to learn and most importantly, I need to do something constructive with my time.  I have thought about looking for another job but I so desperately want this to work out.  I am concerned that if I find another job, I will feel like I failed at developing a research department for Anesthesiology.  And I have a horrible fear of failure.

So yesterday in the middle of me crying hysterically and hiding from the people who mean the most to me, I decided that I needed a friend.  As wonderful as my bestie is, she is 900 miles away and I felt like I needed face-to-face girl time.  How do you tell someone that you need a friend?  Is it something that you just say, like "Hey, I need to go to the bathroom!"...  do you just say "Hey, I need a friend.".  Seems kind of strange and desperate to me so I chose to not do that even though I wished I would have.  I am sure that if I would have, my mood would have drastically improved but I just could not seem so...  desperate and lonely.  Thankfully my mood is better today but in the future I want to know how to say that I am having a hard day and I need a hug.  Suggestions please???  :)